The moment of truth for a new manuscript ...

Author with her manuscript. 

"The main challenge of researching and writing this book was learning to cope with the daily, relentless exposure to the horror of war ... " 

- P Dowding, Final Grant Report Excerpt, May, 2024

Yesterday, I printed out the manuscript for my next book for the first time. It's a WWII story for middle-grade readers.

This is a big step and part of the process for me, but it's scary. 

My writing process is always to take a story as FAR as I can on screen, then when I've got a real first draft with a beginning, middle, and end, I print it out. It's also a tipping point when I feel like I JUST can't look at this book on the screen anymore, because I can no longer see it, connect to it, love it.

It's a moment of truth to hold a printed manuscript for the first time.

So many questions...

Does this neural capture of symbols work? Do the symbols I assembled on the page in this particular order add up to something that is moving, interesting, reflective of my first impulse to assemble them? Will this particular assembling mean something to me, to others, and is it an assemblage that I can be invested in for all time?

Is this symbol assembly (all 230,866 of them) ANY GOOD?

This manuscript is a war story for middle-grade readers set in WWII, and based on my father's experience as a 15-year-old on a particular day in 1941. There's a new genre of auto-fiction for me here, plus a deeply personal family story. The story also explores a fictional German's experience, which is frankly terrifying. I learned a lot more than I expected about Nazi Germany and how it manipulated children. 

Author at the Gloucestershire Archives,
Gloucester UK, September 2023

A massive amount of research has gone into this manuscript, including a trip to England last fall to visit various archives and bomb sites. 

Thank you to the Canada Council for the Arts for their generous Research and Creation grant which allowed me to write this book. I'm planning upcoming posts about the experience of writing a Canada Council for the Arts grant proposal: what to do if you get the grant (take it!); doing the research; writing the final report. For me, it's been a truly fascinating and rewarding 18-month cycle from grant proposal to the photo above, me holding the printed manuscript for the first time. 

Per Ardua Ad Astra, Bomber Memorial, UK, 2023

Obviously, there's still much to do. Massage story, fact-check every historical item with my notes. Here's a tip: do not trust your memory of the researched facts to be accurate. It almost never is, which is astonishing. I have two university degrees (one is an MA), I've researched dozens of papers, but this is completely different. Further steps also include creating a "backmatter" section with links and addenda. I need to get the manuscript to my editor soon-ish, for his first read. Time presses on!

I'll leave you with my final sentences for the CCA report. The question was, "explain your main achievements and challenges in writing this book." The achievements were easy, the challenges not. 

A partial excerpt of my answer to the last part: 

"The main challenge of researching and writing this book was learning to cope with the daily, relentless exposure to the horror of war. What seemed like a story worth telling, became a constant battle to not look away. I had to learn to limit my exposure, to find ways to mitigate what I was discovering ... "

That's the truth of it, friends. Writing historical war fiction for kids is a constant battle to not look away. But it seems like a more important challenge than ever. Let us not look away from war, let's look at war together and remind the next generation, as gently as we can, that they can choose alternatives. I truly hope that this is what the manuscript I hold in my hands suggests, that was my intention. Stay tuned!

I have another book about war for kids, OCULUM ECHO (2022). It's a dystopian cli-fi, with war and pandemic, the sequel to OCULUM (2018), which was nominated for several reader's choice awards. Read a 5-star review here.

All blog posts about this new book and the Research and Creation Grant.

FYI, I haven't settled on a final title for the book yet! Stay tuned on that too.